expectations

mermfish

Life does not always happen the way we plan.  If you can live in the moment without expectations, you can find magic all around you.

Someone posted a comment on Facebook the other week, talking about how they were feeling upset because they were giving, giving and giving without receiving anything in return.  If you are living from your heart when doing something for someone, your reward is knowing you chose to give from your heart.  Validate and acknowledge yourself!  When you are looking for someone to reciprocate the favor or give something of equal value, you can feel disappointed when they do not respond the way you want.  But…If you are doing it because you want to, then it does not matter what, if anything, you get in return.  Then you can find the beauty in the situation.  By letting go of the expectations, you can appreciate the moment. You are giving yourself the gift of living from your heart with love and acceptance, “come what may.”

Are you always doing things for others out of guilt?  Start to value your own time. Do something out of the goodness of your heart.  Check in with yourself, to honor YOUR feelings, before taking action for someone else’s request.

Even if what you expected and wanted did not happen, something happened. What you can do about it, is see the beauty that came from the situation.  Change your perspective.  See things differently, allow and receive.  If you live your life from your heart center, then you just need to wait and see what happens without expectations.  When you have expectations, THAT is when anger, sadness, frustration and other fear based emotions can come up in our body.  That is perfectly fine as long as you can recognize that it is the situation that brought up the emotions and let the emotions flow through your body.  Remember, emotions are energy in motion.  They do not stay.  Allow them to flow.  The situation is the catalyst for what emotions get stirred inside you.  You can feel angry when driving on the road, when someone shows up late or when someone eats the last cookie. The situation changes, but the emotions you feel will arise and be the same no matter what the circumstances.

Don’t be attached to the outcome.  When I was doing my Kickstarter project, I had an expectation that I would reach my goal of $7000.  Though that was a desired outcome, I was not attached to that outcome.  I practiced being in the moment and connecting with all that I was receiving from the project.  I was connecting with people, nurturing my creativity, enjoying life, the experience and opening my heart and finding my truth to share with the world.

Our emotions want to be acknowledged.  That is why you will find yourself in situations where the same emotions keep arising in your body.  Once you experience the deep-rooted dense emotions held in your body from past trauma, they will begin to subside.  Anger, sadness and other fear based emotions will come up but not be as potent. Not as strong.  They will be able to come up, be felt and be surrounded by other higher vibration feelings such as love, compassion and acceptance.  The night I cried for 3 hours straight, from my past experience of being sexual abused as a child, I felt so much pain, discomfort, anger and sadness. Since then, those emotions still arise during different situations.  Remember the situation is the catalyst for the emotions that come up.  I may still feel discomfort, anger and sadness but they are not nearly as intense, come as often, nor do they last as long.  I am able to recognize them, feel them and let them flow through me.

Expectations arise when we are making a request of another person to nurture a need we have at the time. In non-violent communication there is a “formula. ” You make an observation, feel your emotions, connect to your needs and make a request.  Needs are universal to every human on the planet.  Needs are such things as connection, acceptance, laughter, food, peace, love, to matter.  This is a partial list.  If you are making a request and expecting a certain outcome, you are not allowing.  Make a request from the BEAUTY of the need instead of from the deficiency of the need.  Meaning, you are asking without an expectation from the other person.  You are not connected to the response.

Next time you find yourself desiring a specific outcome or have an expectation of someone and it isn’t going how you had planned, take a deep breath and find the magic in the experience.  Discover what beautiful lesson has been brought into your life so that you may love and accept all of you!

LOVE AND LIGHT

2 thoughts on “expectations

  1. Erin, what a great post! I am so proud of you! Everything you said about expectations is so true. I always try to keep this in mind and for me it makes giving to others like receiving a gift myself! I love you! Always be strong!

    Liked by 1 person

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